they almost had it on the hook. another inch and it was theirs... they were trying to get some jelly beans and they were so close to getting them but it didn't work. the hook wasn't sticky enough. they didn't want to go onto the mysterious, huge human table because they thought that they would get squashed by the giant humans. after hours of trying to get the jelly beans they just gave up because it was getting later and later. well they did think it was hours but it was actually about 10-20 minutes. after the ants put away they're fishing rod they all crawled out the window to their colony of ants they told the queen that they couldn't get the jelly beans.
p.s that's all. don't you think there's more because that's the end of the story.
Very imaginative work, Ava. I like how you wrote from the ants-point-of-view. Remember, if you want to slow-down time, you need to write more. Slo-mo writing needs more writing.
They almost had it on the hook. Another inch and it was theirs.... reaching out as far as they could trying not fall into the puddle. They were yelling out "grab on my Queen" but she could not hear from all the commotion that the humans were making. The ants thought making the rod longer might help but the material the ants were using to hold every thing together was not strong enough. One of the ants had a magnificent idea leave the Queen in the puddle and we will move to a new colony and find a new Queen. So that is exactly what they did secretly moon walking away (Ellie and my style of moon walking) to a new colony. The Queen never found the ants that left here in the puddle but she was glad they left her in the puddle because she has not groomed her self in a decade.
Excellent use of dialogue (talk) to spice up your story. And I like how you used brackets to add more detail to the story. The ending was particularly clever.
"WHOA!Watch it" said one of the ant before they move the hook down another inch, they scent something."A RAT!!"said one.So they quickly drop down the hook to get the cheese from the plate.But It was to late. The rat ate the cheese so the ants went to see the queen.The queen was very disaponted for not geting the food so the queen killed all the ants in the world.
"THATS WHAT YOU GET."
They almost had it on the hook. Another inch and it was their.... reaching out as far they can do . they trying and trying long six day and long six nights to get out the hook from their home .Then the hook came out and they save their Queen that 19 ants was very tired and then they dead .
Hold on to it my quieen, shouted quieens soldier. Just another inch and your here, the soldiers all reached out as far as they could. Just than one of the soldiers spotted a balloon right under the quieen, he have a decision that the quieen dont hold on to the hoook anymore and bounce on the balloon then bounce back. He told that to all the other soldiers they all agreed. The quieen do as they said and finally jumping higher and higher closer and closer to us. Finally the quieen grabbed the corner all the soldiers quickly pull the quieen up. After all that adventure it is time to PARTY!!!!!
they almost had it another inch and it was theirs. the grand sweet crumb(a cupcake)Nate pulled with great strengh .he broke into sweat took a big beath closed his eyes hoping that he had acomplished the mission sent from the queen herself. every body around his team gasped. had they done it? had they completed the mission no ant dared to accept? he was too afraid to look the other ants started cheering finally he opened his eyes, releif filled his little body it was theirs. the Elisa colony was truimphant the grandsweet crumb had a new owner and the giANTS werent gonna like it .
They were just about to get the hook when a human got the Avocado that sucked!!! then tried to crawl back to the basket when suddenly ''Don't you think you should put it near you''said the man ''okay'' said the lady.So they kept doing it while another colony got it so they just starved to death
They almost had it, just one more millimeter and it would be theirs again. The queens treasure, the leaf of life would be the last step for the queen to be able to mate Nutty the ant of the Boga colony. Most of the ants were just happy that their demanding boss could finally leave. Nate grasped his sweaty arms almost slipping his hand off the fishing rod, a huge tsunami of sweat covered his puny little face, his team had traveled for days to reach this point of the journey and he the leader of the group wasn't going to give up now. Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere a tug bugged the little ant, it wasn't a leaf, it was Vetrix. Vetrix was was the leader of the worker ants.He was a huge rival of Nate and intended to own the leaf of life.However the strength of Nate's rod was nothing compared Vetrix and with a cyclone of strenth the leaf slipped off the rod.........
put it further we nearly got it I'm not leaving without that 4x4 I need it its the perfect size for me lets put some sticky tape on it. I needz it plz plz plz , P.S the ant needs it to impress the lady he likes
"Keep it going, we got to win this ants vs. beetle tug a war" said commander Mokokoyato.
" permission to speak sir Mokokoyato?" asked solider marmalade.
"negative" replied Mokokoyato
" permission to speak sir?" asked soldier cow.
"Why do we have to win this?"
"For the ladies and more importantly for the GUMMYBEAR OF DESTINY pulse the leaf...............of destiny"
" I did not know that"
" cow come and help us win." called out marmalade.
As cow walks towards the stick the beetles pull the front ants down, the ants look at each other and one by one say "its time." Suddenly a huge creature walks out from a leaf tent, the beetles stop and stare at this creature with eight hairy legs, to sharp fangs and lots of eyes.
Mokokoyato says showing of to the beetles, "meet my friend spider."
spider grabs the stick with four of his legs and yanks the beetles of the rock as if there was no beetles even pulling to the stick. The ants got the ladies and gummy bear and the leaf, spider was lucky because there was another spider who was a girl her name was Georgia. Since then spider and Georgia always hanged out. Every year the ants would win because they had spider and Georgia on there team. Mokokoyato was proud.
# TO MUCHY
"Come on we almost have it!" yelled Antdrew (did that on purpose) as he struggled with the hook.
"pull!" yelled Anterlina. The Ants almost had their piece of chocolate cake. Just one more pull would do it!
"Argh!" Yelled one of the other ants as he tugged the rod. The piece of cake flung up into the air....... triple flipped...... and landed right where the ants wanted it.
"Yay! Wahoo!" yelled all of the ants. The ants successfully when back to their hole and told the queen they were successful. That night all the ants had a great big feast.
P.s I made this up on the spot